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The Official New York Islanders Can Stink Thread. Also, the St. Louis Blues Can Try To As Well, But Probably Won't Be Good At It.

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#1 IKnowPhysics

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 04:58 PM

The Buffalo Sabres are in possession of the following selections relevant to this thread in the all-important 2015 NHL Entry Draft (brought to you by Carl's Jr.):
  • 1st round selection from the New York Islanders.  Stupid, stupid Garth Snow.
  • 1st round selection from the St Louis Blues.
  • 2nd round selection from the New York Islanders.  Stupid, stupid Garth Snow.
Therefore, it in the interest of the Sabres that both of these franchises immediately begin sucking a severe amount of testicle.  Post your updates and curmudgeonings about these two teams here.

Posted Image

Team: New York Islanders
Last five regular season finishes:
2014: 26th, 79 points, drafted 5th
2013: 16th, 94 adjusted points, drafted 15th
2012: 27th, 79 points, drafted 4th
2011: 27th, 73 points, drafted 5th
2010: 26th, 79 points, drafted 5th
Average: 24th, 81 points, drafted 7th
Approximate chance of winning the draft lottery: 4.7%
Logo Ranking: 25th
Big offseason pickups: ######in' nothing.  Stupid, stupid Garth Snow.
But Liger wants you to know:

View PostLGR4GM, on 26 August 2014 - 10:22 AM, said:

The islanders added Grabovski. Kulemin.  Halak. That's just there big off season acquisitions abs didn't include depth players like Conacher.

Summary: The owner of the lowly New York Islanders has been unable to fix the biggest problem with the New York Islanders: himself.  Charles Wang ###### everything up and Sabres fans should be rooting strongly for Wang to do everything he can to help his team out this season.  He's the King Anti-Midas, where everything he touches turns to ######.  And his laughable hiring and illogical retention of his General Manager Garth Snow is his crown jewel.  Even the team's current mascot, Sparky the Dragon, was a cross-promotional trainwreck with an AFL team that went defunct five years ago.  This is the team's last year in the league-worst, dilapidated Nassau Coliseum before they move to the overpriced, horribly sight-lined Barclay's Center.  One of the few bright spots on the team is John Tavares, who is dragging the rest of his team tooth and nail, to the good graces of just-competent-enough Head Coach Jack Capuano.  He was good enough to let Kyle Okposo finish ahead of him in the points race.  I'm not joking though- beyond Tavares, Okposo, and Nielsen, no one on this team can play hockey. Andrew MacDonald lead the defensemen with 24 points in 63 games, but was a -22 on the season, good for 866th of 886 NHL players.

Posted Image

Team: St. Louis Blues
Last five regular season finishes:
2014: 4th, 111 points, drafted 21st
2013: 6th, 103 adjusted points, drafted 22nd (traded to CAL)
2012: 3rd, 109 points, drafted 25th
2011: 20th, 87 points, drafted 11th (traded to COL)
2010: 15th, 90 points, drafted 14th
Average: 10th, 100 points, drafted 19th
Approximate chance of winning the draft lottery: butthole%
Logo Ranking: 3rd
Big offseason pickups: I'm too lazy to look them up.

Summary: A not very well-liked Ken Hitchcock trolled the ###### out of the league in 2012 when he won the Jack Adams Award for finally shaving that stupid mustache off his face and horse-whipping a young Blues team from 20th to 3rd in regular season standings.  However, new-found regular season success hasn't translated to playoff success (see also: San Jose Sharks), as the Blues have only won 8 of 21 playoff games and one series.  This is beneficial news for Sabres fans because it means that their first round draft choice is probably 5-10 spots better than it would be.  Despite turning down the services of Ryan Miller, the Blues believe they're not going to get much worse by riding Brian Elliot, who hasn't played more than 38 games in a season for the Blues, and Jake Allen, who hasn't played more than 16 games, period.  The Blues season - and the Sabres first round selection - hinges on Elliott's ability to not ###### this up and/or avoid fatigue.  Sabres fans should already be on his twitter feed posting beer and steakhouse advertisements so that his physical training goes right to ######.  However, with former Sabres goalie coach Jim Corsi on board and his record of skinny-as-###### meth-addict-looking body weights of his protege goalies, this could be a tough sell.

Edited by IKnowPhysics, 26 August 2014 - 01:39 PM.


#2 d4rksabre

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 05:23 PM

Actually if you follow the myth Wang actually is straight up Midas killing everything he touches.

#3 nfreeman

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 05:44 PM

Leaving aside the raving lunatic tone of the OP, the original title was out of line.

#4 IKnowPhysics

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 06:03 PM

View Postnfreeman, on 25 August 2014 - 05:44 PM, said:

Leaving aside the raving lunatic tone of the OP, the original title was out of line.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Edited by IKnowPhysics, 25 August 2014 - 06:06 PM.


#5 Spndnchz

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 08:22 PM

Very sportsmanlike.

#6 IKnowPhysics

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 08:32 PM

Hey, when there's already a "F#cks" and an "F'N" in the titles on the front page and I post a "Suck A ####" (proactively censoring myself) that gets moderated, I get to post referee ranting gifs for fun.


Edited by IKnowPhysics, 25 August 2014 - 08:34 PM.


#7 drnkirishone

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 09:02 PM

ummm nsfw or minors or killjoys



#8 IKnowPhysics

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 09:11 PM

Lulz.

Seriously though, let's get back on track.  The New York Islanders can jump in a lake.

#9 bunomatic

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 09:38 PM

View PostIKnowPhysics, on 25 August 2014 - 09:11 PM, said:

Lulz.

Seriously though, let's get back on track.  The New York Islanders can

Agreed

#10 nfreeman

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 10:46 PM

View PostIKnowPhysics, on 25 August 2014 - 09:11 PM, said:

Lulz.

Seriously though, let's get back on track.  The New York Islanders can jump in a lake.

You need to stop posting like this.

#11 IKnowPhysics

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 10:55 PM

If you're going to be a stickler for language, go fix the ###### auto-censor so you can stop having to edit my posts.

#12 Numark

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 11:01 PM

replace curse words with ###### ex-players.  Go leino yourself, eat a bag of connoly

#13 716

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 11:05 PM

Islanders:Sabres=Bills:Browns

#14 IKnowPhysics

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 11:08 PM

View PostNumark, on 25 August 2014 - 11:01 PM, said:

replace curse words with ###### ex-players.  Go leino yourself, eat a bag of connoly

Ahem.

The New York Islanders can Mike Wilson a Leino-ing Connolly.

#15 drnkirishone

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 11:16 PM

View PostNumark, on 25 August 2014 - 11:01 PM, said:

replace curse words with ###### ex-players.  Go leino yourself, eat a bag of connoly
well I wanna go leino some roy but i got a case of runny connoly and aint no roy gonna leino a guy with a case of explosive connoly......... oo and may the Islanders win column be as barren as a  cross dressing Python

Edited by drnkirishone, 26 August 2014 - 09:04 AM.


#16 LaLaLaFontaine

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 03:22 AM

Bravo to all of you!

#17 LGR4GM

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 10:22 AM

The islanders added Grabovski. Kulemin.  Halak. That's just there big off season acquisitions abs didn't include depth players like Conacher.  So when you say in the first post the isles did nothing this off-season you're flat out wrong.

#18 IKnowPhysics

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 02:09 PM

Fixed.

#19 LGR4GM

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 02:32 PM

The St Louis Blues, have added this offseason Brian Boyle and Paul Stastny.  They also resigned Ott and Brian Elliot and will be promoting Jake Allen to the active roster. How much of an impact this will have is unclear but they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west.  Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

#20 dEnnis the Menace

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 02:47 PM

View PostLGR4GM, on 26 August 2014 - 02:32 PM, said:

The St Louis Blues, have added this offseason Brian Boyle and Paul Stastny.  They also resigned Ott and Brian Elliot and will be promoting Jake Allen to the active roster. How much of an impact this will have is unclear but they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west.  Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

THis is very much true.

#21 IKnowPhysics

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 02:49 PM

View PostLGR4GM, on 26 August 2014 - 02:32 PM, said:

they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west.  Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

Agreed.  I believe the major factor commanding the position of our draft pick isn't whether they'll make the playoffs, but whether they can punch through the first round.

#22 ChileanSeaBass

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 03:05 PM

View PostLGR4GM, on 26 August 2014 - 02:32 PM, said:

The St Louis Blues, have added this offseason Brian Boyle and Paul Stastny.  They also resigned Ott and Brian Elliot and will be promoting Jake Allen to the active roster. How much of an impact this will have is unclear but they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west.  Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

I thought Brian Boyle signed with Tampa....

#23 LGR4GM

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 03:21 PM

View PostChileanSeaBass, on 26 August 2014 - 03:05 PM, said:

I thought Brian Boyle signed with Tampa....
You are correct, the transaction wire I was viewing was incorrect. Still Stastny is a significant addition to St Louis.

#24 X. Benedict

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 03:22 PM

View PostLGR4GM, on 26 August 2014 - 02:32 PM, said:

The St Louis Blues, have added this offseason Brian Boyle and Paul Stastny.  They also resigned Ott and Brian Elliot and will be promoting Jake Allen to the active roster. How much of an impact this will have is unclear but they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west.  Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

The Con argument with the Blues may go like this:

Hitchcock ain't gonna surprise anybody. It is hard to keep a team fresh playing his system.

#25 IKnowPhysics

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 03:45 PM

View PostX. Benedict, on 26 August 2014 - 03:22 PM, said:

The Con argument with the Blues may go like this:

Hitchcock ain't gonna surprise anybody. It is hard to keep a team fresh playing his system.

Posted Image

#26 Heimdall

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Posted 26 August 2014 - 05:45 PM

View PostLGR4GM, on 26 August 2014 - 02:32 PM, said:

The St Louis Blues, have added this offseason Brian Boyle and Paul Stastny.  They also resigned Ott and Brian Elliot and will be promoting Jake Allen to the active roster. How much of an impact this will have is unclear but they should easily be a playoff team again this year and will probably finish in the 4-7 range in the west.  Do not let a poor showing in the playoffs allow to believe this isn't a good team.

So you say we need to hold a fundraiser, so we can pay the maffia to break some legs in St louis ?

Edited by Heimdall, 26 August 2014 - 05:45 PM.


#27 Icehole

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Posted 27 August 2014 - 04:18 AM

View PostHeimdall, on 26 August 2014 - 05:45 PM, said:

So you say we need to hold a fundraiser, so we can pay the maffia to break some legs in St louis ?

Edited by Icehole, 27 August 2014 - 04:20 AM.


#28 That Aud Smell

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Posted 27 August 2014 - 05:55 AM

View PostIKnowPhysics, on 26 August 2014 - 03:45 PM, said:



Posted Image

So great. I was day drinking downtown in June 99 and saw Hitchcock from a distance lumbering toward the naval park area (was he jogging? Hard to say). I yelled out some slurred combination of "You're going down Hitch you fat fukc!" He gave me a big smile and an extended middle finger. I sorta love him for that.

#29 cdexchange

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Posted 27 August 2014 - 11:57 AM

View PostThat Aud Smell, on 27 August 2014 - 05:55 AM, said:

So great. I was day drinking downtown in June 99 and saw Hitchcock from a distance lumbering toward the naval park area (was he jogging? Hard to say). I yelled out some slurred combination of "You're going down Hitch you fat fukc!" He gave me a big smile and an extended middle finger. I sorta love him for that.

That belongs in the Awesome thread. :lol:

#30 PASabreFan

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Posted 27 August 2014 - 03:16 PM

View PostThat Aud Smell, on 27 August 2014 - 05:55 AM, said:

So great. I was day drinking downtown in June 99 and saw Hitchcock from a distance lumbering toward the naval park area (was he jogging? Hard to say). I yelled out some slurred combination of "You're going down Hitch you fat fukc!" He gave me a big smile and an extended middle finger. I sorta love him for that.

LUMBERING. I lol-ed.